Being Overwhelmed and Impatient

Some days it's almost overwhelming to walk into M. D. Anderson. Today was one of those days.

Coming in from Garage 10, I ride the escalator down to the second floor, passing by the overflow of folks waiting for diagnostic testing. I look at the faces because I want to see, and I find myself guessing at the stories, at the emotions they are feeling, and saying a prayer for them as they wait.

A floor further down on the escalator is the overflow waiting for the E.R. Today it was full. Several of those waiting had the little kidney-shaped plastic containers that are somehow supposed to be adequate when you're nauseous. Others showed effects from surgery, while others just looked tired and sick. Again I prayed silently as I passed by.

It's a stark reminder, that in this day of God-given miraculous treatments for cancer, that there is still great suffering, and that it involves lots of people.

But it's calmer once I reach the inpatient floors, entering the rooms to visit those on my list. Today the list was short, but as seems typical of short list days, there are generally several who have a lot they want to talk about. The list seems to be short so that there's time for the conversations they need to have. Today's list included a lady with stage 4 metastatic cancer, and God blessed us with a deep spiritual conversation.

It also included a lady whose primary prayer request was for patience. The two big things that hit cancer patients are feeling a lack of control, and struggling to be patient. So we prayed for patience, for her, but also for me.

Then a little later while waiting in line for coffee while several workers just stood around, I found myself being impatient with them. Being impatient about getting a cup of coffee shouldn't even be allowed in a place where folks are suffering like those I visited today.

God has so much to teach me, so much molding to do.